5/15/2023 0 Comments Feels bad man smoozeWhen we feel anxious, ask for reassurance, and then get it, we temporarily feel relieved of our anxiety and fears. You’re worried about blowing the big interview tomorrow so you spend the evening before calling friends and family members asking for tips and reassurances that it will go alright.You’re anxious that you’re wife’s upset at you for something because she looks tense and irritable, so you ask her repeatedly if everything’s okay and if you’ve done something wrong.You’re worried about your son being safe on his road trip back to college, so you text him and his friends every hour asking if everything’s okay.When you’re worried or afraid, nothing could be more natural than wanting reassurance that everything is going to be okay: If you can identify these habits in your own life and work to eliminate them, I think you’ll find that confidence has a way of showing up on its own. What follows are 5 things confident people don’t do. When people work to overcome things like anxiety and low self-esteem, a happy side-effect is that they end up becoming far more confident in nearly all areas of their lives. This gives me a relatively unique insight into the world of confidence and how it works: I get to see very specific patterns and habits that cause people to lose confidence and feel insecure. What if we need a completely different approach to building confidence? What if becoming more confident is about what you should do less of rather than more of?Īs a psychologist and therapist, I work with people every day who have serious issues with low confidence and poor self-esteem. In fact, sometimes this direct approach to seeking confidence can backfire: You’re so worried about being more confident, that you make yourself anxious and insecure-the opposite of confident! You can’t just try to be confident any more than you can try to be happy. Like happiness, confidence is one of those things you can’t really get directly.
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